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Belonging in remote teams - Overcoming obstacles and building connections

Clarice Bouwer

Software Engineering Team Lead and Director of Cloudsure

Saturday, 19 October 2024 · Estimated 7 minute read

TL;DR

Belonging in remote teams can be tough due to obstacles like physical distance, lack of casual interactions, time zone differences, and then the unnecessary hurdles like imposter syndrome. To overcome some of these challenges, it’s important to build social connections intentionally, use video for better communication, adjust meeting times to accommodate different time zones, give regular feedback, and ensure everyone’s contributions are visible. It’s all about fostering openness, using the right tools, creating team rituals, and—most importantly—giving a real damn about the work and the people doing it.


So, you’re part of a remote team now, working across cities, time zones, and sometimes even continents. It’s not exactly the same as working in an office, where you can swing by someone’s desk or chat casually at the coffee machine. Who said water cooler? 😄 Remote work adds new challenges when it comes to truly feeling like you belong. Without the right effort, you might feel like you’re just a name on a screen, isolated and out of the loop. But even when everyone’s spread out, a strong sense of belonging is still possible—you just have to work a little harder to build it.

What makes it hard?

Physical distance = Emotional distance

When you’re working remotely, the physical distance can often translate into emotional distance. There’s no spontaneous conversations or casual banter to build those natural connections. You can’t just pop over to someone’s desk for a quick chat. Instead, you’ve got scheduled conference calls, and let’s face it, those can feel pretty stiff sometimes.

Solution: Make an effort to build social connections.

In a remote team, those casual connections don’t happen by accident. You have to make them happen. Join virtual coffee breaks, set up non-work Slack channels for hobbies, or throw out a funny meme once in a while. It might feel a bit awkward at first, but these small efforts go a long way in making people feel like they’re part of something more than just a group of screen names.

Human behavior = Human error

People are unpredictable, and our interactions can be awkward, especially when remote work adds layers of uncertainty. Misunderstandings, accidental messages, or general social awkwardness can make you feel disconnected or like you're not fitting in.

Solution: Embrace the mess.

Instead of trying to avoid mistakes, embrace them as part of the human experience. Show up and engage with your team, even when things feel awkward. Mistakes are inevitable, but they don’t define your ability to belong. By leaning into the mess, you build resilience and understanding with your team, and it’s often in these imperfect moments that real bonds are formed.

Everyone makes mistakes, but the beauty of human interaction is that it’s a shared experience. Being awkward or making errors doesn’t push you further from belonging—it often makes you more relatable. When you stop worrying about perfection and start focusing on connection, you’ll find it easier to integrate into your team. Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, owning your human-ness fosters trust and comfort with others.

Failing technology = Frustration

Lagging video calls, distorted audio, dropping calls, frozen screens—technology can make remote teamwork a comedy of errors. Awkward pauses and people talking over each other due to internet delays can disrupt meetings and make collaboration feel disjointed.

Solution: Push through the awkwardness.

Accept that technology won’t always cooperate, but that doesn’t mean you should disengage. Show up to the virtual meetings, participate in discussions, and ride out the awkward silences. The key is persistence—staying involved, even when the tech is working against you.

Remote work comes with a fair share of technical glitches that can make interactions feel unnatural. However, technology is just a tool, not the defining element of your team experience. What matters most is how you navigate these issues. By showing up and staying present, even when things get awkward, you build resilience and demonstrate commitment to your team. Over time, your presence and effort will outweigh any technical hiccups.

Lack of visual cues = Misunderstandings

In an office, you can see people’s body language and facial expressions, which helps you understand their tone and meaning. But in a remote setting, these visual cues are often lost, especially if cameras are off. This can lead to misunderstandings, and it’s easy to feel disconnected or misread someone’s mood. Awkward silences, talking over people, and the dreaded “Can you hear me?” can make it simply annoying.

Solution: Use video and be clear in your communication.

As much as you might want to stay off-camera, video calls are key for building connection. Seeing faces makes it easier to gauge reactions and build rapport. When video isn’t an option, be extra clear in your written communication. Don’t be afraid to inject a bit of personality—add a joke or a smiley. It makes a difference!

Time zone differences = Feeling left out

Working across different time zones can make you feel like you’re missing out. When half the team is working while you’re sleeping, it’s easy to feel like you’re out of the loop. Decisions might get made without your input, and important conversations can happen without you.

Solution: Be mindful of time zones and advocate for your input.

If your team is spread across time zones, don’t be afraid to suggest rotating meeting times or using asynchronous tools (like Slack or project boards) so everyone can contribute. Make sure your voice is heard, even if you’re not there in real-time. And if you notice someone missing out because of time zones, reach out and include them when you can.

Imposter Syndrome = Panic mode

When you’re working remotely, imposter syndrome can creep in more easily. Without the physical presence of colleagues to affirm your contributions, it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough—or worse, that you’re not good enough. The lack of direct feedback can make you second-guess yourself.

Solution: Seek feedback and celebrate your wins—both big and small.

If feedback isn’t flowing freely, don’t hesitate to ask for it. Knowing how your work contributes to the team can help fight imposter syndrome. And when you hit milestones—big or small—take a moment to acknowledge them. It’s easy to overlook progress when you’re isolated, but those wins matter.

"Out of sight, out of mind" trap

When you’re not physically present, it’s easy for you (and others) to feel invisible. You might feel like your work isn’t being noticed because you’re not physically there to remind people. When that sense of recognition fades, so does the feeling of belonging.

Solution: Make your work visible and engage with your team.

Find ways to make your contributions more visible—whether it’s sharing updates in Slack or during team meetings. Don’t be shy about highlighting what you’re working on. Engagement also goes both ways: acknowledge the work of others, comment, ask questions, and make sure you’re staying part of the conversation.

How to truly belong

Actually give a damn

This one’s non-negotiable. To truly feel like you belong, you need to actually care about the work you’re doing and the people you’re doing it with. If you’re phoning it in, you’ll never feel connected. Care about the goals of the team, care about your own role, and care about making an impact. When you genuinely give a shit, belonging naturally follows.

Create rituals and traditions

Just because you’re remote doesn’t mean you can’t have traditions. Whether it’s a weekly team quiz, a monthly virtual show-and-tell, or a shared Spotify playlist, these little rituals create a sense of togetherness. They give the team something to look forward to and remind you that you’re part of something bigger than just work tasks.

Stay engaged and aligned

Make a conscious effort to stay in the loop. Regularly check project management tools, read through team updates, and ask clarifying questions if you’re unsure about something. Participate in meetings (even the ones that might not seem immediately relevant) and share your progress with the group. Proactively engage in conversations to ensure you're on the same page as everyone else.

Be open and honest

Belonging thrives on openness. If you’re struggling with something or feeling disconnected, say so. Be vulnerable enough to express your challenges, and listen when others do the same. When everyone on the team is open, it builds trust, and trust is a huge part of feeling like you belong.

Collaborate across the board

Don’t just stick to your lane. Try working with different people across the team or department. Collaboration helps you build relationships and broaden your understanding of the company as a whole. The more people you connect with, the more integrated you’ll feel.

Invest in the right tools

Having the right tools can make or break your remote experience. Collaboration platforms like Slack, Zoom, and project management software are essential for keeping Having the right tools is crucial to your remote work experience. Collaboration platforms like Slack, Zoom, and project management software are essential for keeping the team connected, organized, and on the same page. Take the time to familiarize yourself with these tools and use them to stay engaged and contribute effectively.

And don’t go introducing new tools without a plan. Before rolling out anything new, make sure you have buy-in from the team and that everyone’s comfortable using it. A new tool is only helpful if the whole team is on board and it’s genuinely making your workflow better—not adding extra confusion.

Lead with empathy (even if you’re not the manager)

Empathy isn’t just for managers. Support your teammates, check in on them, and understand that everyone has their own challenges. Whether it’s a deadline extension or just a simple “How’s it going?”—leading with empathy helps build trust, which in turn, strengthens belonging.

Conclusion

Belonging in a remote team isn’t impossible, but it does take effort—both from you and your teammates. The obstacles, like distance, isolation, and time zones, are real, but with intention, you can overcome them. Building social connections, using tools effectively, being open, and—above all—truly caring about the work you do will create a sense of belonging, no matter where your team is based.

At the end of the day, it’s not about how far apart you are—it’s about how much you care and connect. When you truly give a damn and make the effort, belonging isn’t just possible—it’s inevitable.